Madan Rai: An Oppressor, Dictator, Patriarch, Pedophile and a Narcissist!

Upon much self contemplation I’m moved to a degree in writing this article, hoping if there exists sensible, sensitive & humanly ethical beings around including the lawmakers, justice providers, civil societies, media and common masses amongst the Nepali society— they would understand the gravity of this matter thereby supporting the fact as to why long-term legal punishment is a must for personalities such as Madan Rai.

It’s been a few weeks since the Nepali local media is flooded with articles, videos, statements etc, both in support and against the sexually-illicit acts of Diktel-Khotang-Nepal based; locally addressed as an “agriculturist,”, alternative educator— Madan Rai, founder of Shubham, ‘so-called,’ a social organisation (lacking organisational structure, ethics and functioning!) working under the pretext of educating hundreds of children across all age groups and adults (all gender) especially those hailing from underprivileged social and economic strata of the Nepali society.

As fanciful, progressive and bearing God-like intentions as it might sound, there’s no two-ways about calling Madan Rai a manipulative orator, keen people observer and a sly strategist who has been capable of attracting children and adults alike towards his superficial theories portraying as the “ultimate saviour,” for underprivileged Nepali children—in a world where there’s only deceit and lawlessness.

His over-ambitious talks on altering the ways of practicing organic farming and lending experiential learning rather than text-book centred learning was something I was also drawn to, imagining being a part of this educational revolution— what a good man he must be, thought I!

I was introduced to him and his ideas by a well-wisher and a friend who shares the same ancestral kinship and village as Madan Rai.

Post a few email exchanges with his unmatched flowery language luring me to join his foundation as an English teacher and Mentor, I was absolutely unstoppable to help Madan Rai’s dream of translating alternative educational practices into a reality!

Given my educational qualification, experiences and determination to add value in the “Education sector,” I was ready to face ‘come what may,’ to work at the grassroots with the clear purpose of supporting our Nepali children.

Only to be disappointed soon after as my stay In Shubham progressed over a few months wherein Madan Rai’s ZERO goals or conviction in providing English Language acquisition for the learners became evident in ways his verbal commitments were untrustworthy. His words and actions have always had discrepancies.

He would knowingly barge-in to my classrooms disrupting the entire schedule we painstakingly had to come up with considering all children are allotted monotonous duties throughout the day until sleep.

His overly done narratives of his patriarchal mind-set and reinforcements of how sex-education, should be ideally done—usages of filthy and abusive language, insulting and embarrassing students in classrooms and outside, using profanity for just anyone and everyone who wouldn’t agree with him. He loathes challenges from those who understand the fundamentals of life in general.

I understood Madan Rai’s extreme self-centredness, narcissistic ways of conducting self-sustaining education as per his whims and fancies— what else can one expect from a dictator after all?

When one begins thinking of himself as none-other than “Lord Buddha,” with their negative radicalism, that’s something to worry about. Because radicalism for good reasons are mostly welcome, until it converts into absolutely anti-social in thought and action.

When I approached him with the proposal of initiating Sex & Gender-Education, in a more nuanced, organised, unintimidating, successfully proven manner—as I hold certifications & experiences in conducting trainings, workshops etc, for “Prevention of Sexual Harassment,” in various settings in India—he outrightly denied it on my face, justifying it won’t be fruitful, rather his continued approach of aggressively derogatory, lengthy-repetitive speeches on uncensored sex, pulling his pants down, and socially exhibiting his Penis was the only way—the students’ learn  on the sensitive subject of “sex,” hence his claim that he’s equipping them in maintaining ‘self-defence,’—“the oppressor teaching lessons of oppression.” What a mockery of education itself!

 He negates the fact that there’s an age-appropriate learning, suitable content, time and space (In Sex-Gender curriculum), on the contrary, in his oppressive beliefs the more openly the society talks and performs sexual activities, reduction in sexual crimes will be observed. This is an extremely smart strategy he’s been fooling around with—that nothing is hidden, “I do everything publicly.” Whether one does it full-fledged openly or within the confinements of four walls—“violence is violence,” and therefore NO hypocritical theory should be made to socially or legally justify such offensive acts. Period.

His initial and subtle sexual moves towards female children is such that they tend to believe in him as a “Baje,,”(grandfather) and because he’s so good with his flattery language- “His emotional blackmailing,” techniques is what the gullible children have primarily fallen prey into.

It takes a while for the abused and the oppressed to come into actual terms with what just happened!

—“That there has been a violation of their human, bodily and gender rights.”

Many might agree of a freer society similar to what Madan Rai’s superficiality and narrow mind puts forward but where’s the right to choice? Right to choose one’s sexual partner or multiple partners? Right to mutual consent ? (For women and the LGBTQAI population) The patriarchal bloodline and their true kins better have a strong argument in support of this.

If this isn’t inhumane-violating the basic norms of freedom-human and gender rights leading to emotional and sexual violence—then we are still slaves to these patriarchs and dictators in the namesake “free world.”

As Ironic as it might appear but the facts hold the truth, little did I know behind this beautifully painted curtain “of imparting life skills education,” there was this huge racket of ongoing psychological abuse followed by consistent sexual, physical, verbal and emotional harassment resulting in unspoken trauma to all those who have been thoughtfully predated by Madan Rai, at his mercy. Much of which I was apprised of post I had left Shubham.

I was by then quite aware of his other immoral practices involving continuous verbal abuses and threatenings if anyone made choices of anything besides what he had imposed. He would turn into a complete maniac, screaming his lungs out—if things didn’t go as per his likings, whatever be it.

Talking ill behind the back about students and volunteers who leave Shubham as by now few  -logical ones would have identified that Madan Rai was a hindrance to their personal and professional growth, to which he would think that these students would conspire against him and wage a war sometime—a sign of mental illness.

Recalling my first interaction with Madan Rai at his home in Dholahiti, Latitpur, Nepal sometime in the year 2019.

After his quick assessment of my sincere intentions and thoughts as to why I wanted to contribute at Shubham, he said, “I impart sex education practically, meaning, standing completely naked in-front of all the students—touching and feeling my private male genitals and explaining the process of intercourse, etc.” Further adding, there’s NO other way to do this— he added, what a bold statement and how incorrect!

His practical approaches also includes publicly pointing directly at female breasts, touching them without prior consent, passing provocative comments on the female bodies and hinting and implying the male-folks to follow the same.

How on earth can these actions be justified as processes of “selfdefense modalities?”

As by providing driving lessons to selective female students on one hand in the name of empowering them whereas, emotionally and sexually taking advantages—to face the cruel world because anyway he thinks they’re going to be harassed, traumatised and exploited later?

What a strategist!

His audacious self-made claims as below with lack of scientific evidences or research data—is a distinct sign of him being in urgent need of psychiatric care. I hope the Justice givers (lawyers, judges and the court) mark this as serious and advises accordingly in this regard.

Until there’s an invention of a ‘sexual urge controlling testosterone hormonal injection for males,’—sexual activities will continue being rampant as most of our Nepali females whether in Nepal or working abroad—they all have high sexual urges—as most of them stay away from their male partners— hence the market for prostitution and flesh trade is huge and demanding, as Madan Rai laughed shamelessly tagging himself as a Sugar Daddy!

To my mind, I then thought, it must only be a pure fallacy for a 70 plus aged man to only dream deep down into sexual fantasies, lip service of a kind without the real longing or intention of actually harming anyone sexually.

How wrong was I? To let go of such narcissistic traits of sexist, masculinist, self-inflated egotistic beliefs and statements of this severely psychologically disturbed man who has been left medically untreated over these many years and often being ignored as a mad man— “baulaha manchey,” as colloquially termed in Nepali— well, if this was a woman, would the society still ignore?

Someone who is so extensively obsessed with the idea of human bodies, particularly the sexual and reproductive organs, that someone as I got fed up of listening to his self-created, self-proven, pedophilistic concept around Sex and Sexual activities.

What an utterly rubbish theory he has been advocating of, “Self-Defence,” over-used but successful in thoroughly brainwashing children with the narrative that in order to be well-informed on the subject of “Sex,” and protect themselves from Future abuses—they need to practice it on anyone that their judgement deems will be okay and won’t create a fuss about it later even if it’s immoral or harmful.

This is the ideal— utopian kind of a free society, people like Madan Rai dream of creating where age, consent, freedom to decide, doesn’t play a role—brainwashing, manipulation, hypocrisy and self-made laws does.

Like how Madan Rai is publicly known to be involved in adulterous sexual activities (with recorded video footages) not only with younger female students at Shubham over past years (many girls who are now adults) but also trying his luck out with other adult female students, visitors, women caretakers and female-parents and guardians. (All of them he preys using his cheap emotional, self-defence, financial grounds) Men like him falsely believe that a poor female’s body is always up for negotiations and abuse.

He has so cleverly and exclusively targeted girls with shy, introvert personalities from poorer social and economic backgrounds—providing them with cash, mobile phones, clothes, shoes, makeups, laptops, travel benefits, land, other assets and so many other necessary and luxurious items. This is one Primary reason to be noted as to why the abused and the oppressed aren’t still ready to speak up against their oppressor, as he has manipulatively made them dependent on him for all of their needs. (Mind you! This hasn’t happened overnight-it’s happened over weeks, months and years)— his Indoctrination process is too dangerous and despite knowing these, if we as a society fail to take note and condemn such men and their sinful activities-there’s no point in anything at all.

The feelings of insecurity as might cloud any human mind mainly due to poverty and lack of positive resources— “as to who’s going to take care of their needs?” if incase Madan Rai their provider is exposed and put behind bars is something which is undeniably-psychologically preventing these very girls and adult women to let the truth out and narrate their abusive stories.

If provided an alternative, safer environment and taken care of their bare minimum needs along with psychological counselling—sooner or later these women might understand the intensity of the wrongdoings befallen upon them all this while and might realise as to how crucial it’s to share their painful experiences to avoid similar mishappenings!

Here thus far, we might have largely spoken about sexual exploitation however, there’s equal amount of physical exploitation to these children in the name of providing space to turn self-reliant, these children at Shubham, Khotang and at Madan Rai’s house in Kathmandu under the supervision of his wife—Mrs. Subhadra Rai, is a hell for children as they’re pushed to perform laborious activities day in and out to the extent of providing massaging services to members of Madan Rai’s family post hard day’s labour.

Many of us have witnessed these young girls being physically and psychologically exploited by refusal of their personal time even for studies as they are asked to devote their entire stay as unpaid child labourers—Who’s it benefitting? Only the selfish Rai family.

They are given stale left-over, Un-nutrititious food by a family who boasts of carrying the knowledge and practices in Food and Agriculture, what a pity!

There are narratives of these children were made to do laundry and other services for Madan and Subhadra Rai’s grandchildren (same age group as the exploited children) when they holiday in Nepal—What about making their Grandchildren Self-Reliant,”?

Or this philosophy is chosen discriminately only for the helpless-poorer children ?

Hope the court probes in this context as well.

There’s a stark difference between teaching the right skills to children, imbibing them with self-reliance attitude, and exploiting them into slavery for personal and narcissistic gain-which is exactly what Madan Rai and his family has been doing.

For those who still are delusional in believing that Madan Rai genuinely follows what he commonly preaches such as providing real-time education and in taking excellent care of those children as his expertise in agriculture and education is praiseworthy—they really need to wake up from their slumber and immediately stop their boot-licking hypocrisy for some petty cash and other incentives, Madan Rai and his family must have been feeding them with.

I’m still hopeful that there are a few handful of people who would never compromise on their self-dignity and would always fearlessly speak Only but the Truth, especially when it involves lives of vulnerable children and the life-long psychological impact these incidences is likely to create on their minds and lives in general.

In a gist, if someone like Madan Rai is lawfully punished for all his unforgivable activities it’s going be a win for all those children who without any fault of theirs ended up being ill-treated. Also, a lesson to the society and all others who assume that they are above the Law of the Land.

No matter whatsoever heavenly reasons Madan Rai and his supporters might produce to save him from going to long term prison—using all their power, money and connections—he is already a criminal before the eyes of those who understand the intensity of his narcissism, violent and corrupt mind.

No other good dealings anytime in his life— (maybe his contribution to the agriculture sector etc,) should stand as a powerful justification against the magnitude of damage he has left onto the lives of many children and women who still think of him as their pseudo-Guru and Saviour because his manipulative behaviour is so undeniably well-staged that many are highly likely to be deceived until and unless there’s self-reflection with a bit of self-esteem and truth left in us.

Indu Rai is an independent writer and researcher based in Bangalore, India.